Changing "Blame You" to "Thank You"
Why me? These words are usually spoken to ask why this bad stuff keeps happening to me. It is far less often that we are asking why we are so lucky as to keep being rewarded with plenty of good luck. Bad is often subjective. The avalanche on the snow covered mountain is incredibly beautiful – unless you are late for an appointment on the other side of the mountain and then it not such a great thing. The much needed rain is wonderful for my lawn but awful for my picnic plans. There are many times that we blame and complain about something that we initially interpret as bad, only to find out later that it was actually a great thing. Do we later go back to thank the people and circumstances that we blamed at the outset?
Several years ago while teaching a martial arts class, I was struck in the eye with a padded weapon by one of the other instructors. I wasn’t wearing a helmet as I was supposed to. The next day when I had double vision out of my injured eye, I went to see an ophthalmologist. He informed me that I had a deep corneal laceration and in a few days I would regain normal vision; however he noticed that my optic discs were quite blurry and this indicated that I may have some optic nerve damage. He sent me to a specialist for more testing and soon afterward I was diagnosed with glaucoma and started on medical treatment. It turns out that like many people with glaucoma, I had lost a fair amount of peripheral vision prior to the diagnosis. I went back to the martial arts class and approached the instructor and said, “I want to thank you for the other day…” He quickly interrupted me and replied, “I’m really sorry about hitting you.” I tried again, “No, I really want to thank you…” Again he interjected, “Ok, ok. I’m really sorry about what happened.” A third attempt by me, “I’m not being facetious. Because of the minor eye injury, they were able to diagnose a much worse condition and now I can get the proper treatment. If you hadn’t hit me I would have lost more vision.” He looked surprise and relieved.
My life has been blessed with many of these blessings in disguise experiences. So much so that when something apparently negative happens to me, I wonder what the underlying goodness will be and when it will be revealed. Check out my Psychology Today medical mission story about converting Blame into Gratitude. I don’t know if it is God or a cosmic/natural force; but I believe that things happen the way that they should. At the very least I will learn and grow from each experience and this may be the only positive that I can derive from an apparent negative – but you can believe that I will dwell on that positive – and feel better because of it. We all have stories of blessings in disguise – initially blaming and then being relieved by what turns out to be opposite results. Please share your Blame to Gratitude stories.
Several years ago while teaching a martial arts class, I was struck in the eye with a padded weapon by one of the other instructors. I wasn’t wearing a helmet as I was supposed to. The next day when I had double vision out of my injured eye, I went to see an ophthalmologist. He informed me that I had a deep corneal laceration and in a few days I would regain normal vision; however he noticed that my optic discs were quite blurry and this indicated that I may have some optic nerve damage. He sent me to a specialist for more testing and soon afterward I was diagnosed with glaucoma and started on medical treatment. It turns out that like many people with glaucoma, I had lost a fair amount of peripheral vision prior to the diagnosis. I went back to the martial arts class and approached the instructor and said, “I want to thank you for the other day…” He quickly interrupted me and replied, “I’m really sorry about hitting you.” I tried again, “No, I really want to thank you…” Again he interjected, “Ok, ok. I’m really sorry about what happened.” A third attempt by me, “I’m not being facetious. Because of the minor eye injury, they were able to diagnose a much worse condition and now I can get the proper treatment. If you hadn’t hit me I would have lost more vision.” He looked surprise and relieved.
My life has been blessed with many of these blessings in disguise experiences. So much so that when something apparently negative happens to me, I wonder what the underlying goodness will be and when it will be revealed. Check out my Psychology Today medical mission story about converting Blame into Gratitude. I don’t know if it is God or a cosmic/natural force; but I believe that things happen the way that they should. At the very least I will learn and grow from each experience and this may be the only positive that I can derive from an apparent negative – but you can believe that I will dwell on that positive – and feel better because of it. We all have stories of blessings in disguise – initially blaming and then being relieved by what turns out to be opposite results. Please share your Blame to Gratitude stories.
Posted by Dr. Farber's Blog at 5/24/2011 9:58 AM 
Categories: Blames to Thanks
Tags: blame gratitude thankful thankfulness blessings in disguise blessings positive experiences
Categories: Blames to Thanks
Tags: blame gratitude thankful thankfulness blessings in disguise blessings positive experiences
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