When we blame others we give them a gift. The gift is control. We give them control over our actions, words, and even our thoughts. Blaming others is the best way we have to relieve ourselves of responsibility for ourselves. So why do we continue to play the blame game? We play the game because we are a society entrenched in short-term gains. Blaming others allows us a brief reprieve. We perform a “responsibility shift”and relieve ourselves from the pressure, stress and anxiety of having to perform and function without error.
We blame everyone and everything for our mistakes. Blaming is like voting in Chicago – blame early, blame often. Who do we blame? We blame parents, children, siblings, friends, teachers, students, bosses, employees, coworkers, politicians, and strangers. What do we blame? We blame nature, God, weather, environment, physical ailments and shortcomings, inanimate objects, and all other living things. We also blame ourselves – but usually this is reserved for times that we are actually not to blame. It rains during a big family picnic. You say, “It’s all my fault, I just said yesterday that I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow.” Ironically, we take responsibility at times when it isn’t really ours to hold.
I’ve published a book called The Blame Game. The Complete Guide to Blaming: How to Play and How to Quit. In the book I discuss several stereotypic forms of blames including: casual blames, deceptive blames, secretive blames, and blatant blames. I was a member of the blaming hall of fame. I’ve played the game in several continents including the Far East, Middle East, Europe and South America. I was an equal opportunity blamer but was kicked out of the IBF (International Blaming Federation) for writing a dissertation on the problems with playing the Blame Game.
Now I have written this “how-to” book on blaming for the expert and novice alike that also shows you the problems with playing the blame game. I’ll also teach you other games that you can spend your time doing instead of blaming. I’d love to hear from you about whom you blame, why you blame, when you blame, and how you blame. Do you feel good after you blame or are the feelings of guilt too strong to let you fully enjoy the blame? Have you tried quitting the blame game? It’s harder than you think. Why don't you pick up the book and put down the game...and keep me posted as to how you are doing.